Last night, my brother and my mother visited me in my dreams, it was the first time I can recall having them both around simultaneously in any dream. I wish I could remember more vividly what the dream was about now, but I am thankful that I got to see them again, if only for a moment or two, in my mind. I miss them terribly. Words cannot adequately express my loss, only those who’ve lived through such loss can understand it, and I don’t wish such understanding on anyone, not even my worst enemies.
But I guess at some point, we all must face the reality that all our loved ones will eventually pass on, either before or after our own demise. So what can we do about it, other than ignoring that harsh reality, or conversely, being a major party-pooper?
I try to remember to remind all my friends and relatives how precious each moment of our lives are, and that they should be so grateful for the time they get to spend with those they love (even for the arguments). I also try to appreciate each second I have left in my own life, and to live in the moment “smelling the flowers,” feeling the breeze on my skin, and truly being aware and embracing the fact that I am alive! Nowadays, I live for the chance to get to see my daughter’s smile and hear her laugh yet again, and again. It is music to my ears, and a beauty and innocence that is more precious to me than anything else I can imagine.
Living a life worth living, for your own sake, and for the sake of your children, is what it is all about. Honoring the memories of those loved ones that came before you, who hoped and dreamed for a happier future for you, is the secret to life, in my humble opinion. This is a far superior way to live, than just going through the motions, dreading the day ahead, and wishing you were doing something else with your life. So if you find yourself wasting your precious time in this fashion, do not walk, but rather, run to the exit of your current reality, and jump-off that “sinking ship” into another better possible future before it is too late! Why? Because despite popular opinion, sometimes “keeping one’s nose to the grind stone” in a dead-end career only causes your nose to get shorter, and your sense of smell to be destroyed!
I know what I am talking about, because at different times in my own life, I’ve experienced the dread of hating my job (or even my life), but not once have I felt that way since I’ve been abroad with my new family. Thus, in the final analysis of my precarious decision making process, I am very thankful for the respite I chose to take from the indentured servitude we all face as citizens living within a post-industrial,mass-consumption, capitalistic economy. Because lets face it, a one week vacation per year, 30 minute lunch, or two 15 minute smoke-breaks per day, just doesn’t allow for one to find the time to pursue their dreams, or to commune with those in our dreams who ran out of time before their own prime.
I am now so thankful I chose to take a year off from the “rat race” to pursue a better “quality of life” in the short run, rather than foregoing such meaningful moments with my new family in the hopes of acquiring a greater quantity of money or material possessions I can’t take with me. I am also so glad I allowed myself to think “outside of the box,” to resolve temporary calamities. Call me crazy, but if I was going to have a mid-life crisis, I think I had mine with a certain flare and style that most corporate automatons would find unimaginable and even potentially terrifying. So, in a way, I must say, I am very proud my mother raised me to become an adult with a “round peg” personality that just did not fit into American society’s “square hole.” After all, they will put me in that “square hole” soon enough, whether I choose to misuse my literary freedom to misquote an idiom for creative effect or not. Have a wonderful day, and an awesome life people! I am in your corner, and I wish only the best for you all.